It’s fair to say that even the most open among us can feel queasy when it comes to raising the subject of money. Many of us remain reluctant to talk about our financial affairs, even as we become more comfortable sharing other personal matters. This reluctance can have serious consequences, especially within families. But overcoming that unwillingness can bring significant benefits.
People who talk about money make better and less risky financial decisions; have stronger personal relationships; help their children form good lifetime money habits; and feel less stressed or anxious and more in control, according to MoneyHelper research. Each year, MoneyHelper hosts the Talk Money Week campaign, which encourages people to be more open about money with their friends and family.
To mark this year’s Talk Money Week, beginning on 3 November, we identify six things to consider when it comes to money conversations.
Don’t avoid it
A lot of financial issues are difficult to talk about, especially when it comes to debts, illness, social care, housing, bereavement and other matters. But tempting as it might feel, digging your head in the sand will only make matters worse. Research shows that bottling up our thoughts and feelings typically leads to even greater stress and potentially more significant problems, as well as preventing us from learning how to deal with them.
On a practical level, bottling things up can lead to policies being cancelled, charges being added, services being cut off, appointments being missed and other issues escalating into further complications.
Think ahead
One reason money can be hard to talk about is that it’s an emotive and potentially sensitive subject, making it one that can feel easy to avoid. So it can be useful to consider when and where might be best to have the conversation. For example, if you want to raise it with your partner but you both feel tired and cranky after a long day at work, that’s probably not the time to do it. Agreeing a scheduled time and place for it can take the edge off.
Take it slowly
The process of opening up can be gradual. It might be easier to talk in generic terms about money before you get into more personal stuff, especially when it comes to issues such as how much we owe, earn or have saved. Conversations can start on broad topics such as products, budgeting, money management apps or even what you learned about money as a child, before going into your own circumstances or problems.
Remember to listen
Money is a topic that almost all of us struggle with at some point. So we need to be open and non-judgmental when speaking to others about their worries and our own, which means listening to each other, pausing before reacting, communicating clearly, acknowledging each other’s thoughts and feelings and asking each other about your financial hopes and fears.
Prepare to be vulnerable
It’s ok to admit you don’t know things or that you’re not as on top of your finances as you’d like. Similarly, don’t be afraid to put your hands up to mistakes or express your concerns. Financial worries are universal and many of us lack confidence in our ability to manage our money. By opening up a bit you might make it easier for others to do the same.
Ask for help
Even if you know a thing or two about financial matters, you’ll still have your blindspots. Money matters are often complex and the financial landscape is ever-changing, making it hard for even the most switched on among us to keep up. A financial adviser can play a big role in helping you with the big conversations as well as putting together a long-term plan for you.
Free sources of support and information include Citizens Advice and the StepChange Debt charity, which can help with debt-related matters, while the Money Helper website is a free, impartial source of information and guidance on finances in general. And don’t forget to explore our own website, which is full of guides, videos and articles on investments, pensions and more.
Image by pch.vector on Freepik
